It’s taken me nine months to get to this place. 

A place of peace and joy.

Even though I am still overwhelmed, and have many things to work through, I can emphatically say that obedience to God truly satisfies the soul. 

It’s been an excruciating  process, which I am in no hurry to repeat. As time has gone on, it’s become less about adultery and betrayal and more about what my heart has revealed  in response to it all. My marriage seems secondary – It’s been all about God and my reactions to what he has commanded me to do.

I have come to understand that it’s all grace. There is no way that I could respond kindly to any of these hurts without God’s spirit working in my life. God had to show me my huge failings before he then enabled me to respond rightly. 

We all hurt about something. It’s inevitable. We are all sinners. My experience applies to us all.

1 John 2:4-6 says:

Whoever says, “I know him,” but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in that person. But if anyone obeys his word, love for God is truly made complete in them. This is how we know we are in him: Whoever claims to live in him must live as Jesus did. 

Responding well is a hard road full of difficulty. It’s like climbing a mountain;  just as you get to the top, you see another peak, and realise you are only halfway. But in the end, after a lot of effort, the views are breathtaking at the summit. 

God’s rules are hard, but they are for our good. God’s way is the only way which brings true joy and satisfaction in him. By obeying God’s word we are cultivating an eternal relationship with our Father which will never ever be wasted. When we get to heaven we won’t say, “it wasn’t worth the effort.”

I have hung on to bitterness and anger and resentment. It brings nothing good. We may think these responses will bring some sort of satisfaction, but it has hindered my joy and peace and put a wedge between my relationship with God which has made me more miserable than I already was.

Praying that as we read God’s word, we will take it to heart and ask the Holy Spirit to enable us to respond in the right way. For those who ask for wisdom, he gives it, which is the only way to ultimate happiness. 

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