Monthly Archives: November 2016


Today I am thankful. In fact I feel overwhelmed by God’s kindness. He has taught me many lessons through my pain, and I am learning that submission to God in every part of our lives result in joy and contentment. 

Our lives may still be fragmented and prayers still not answered – but through suffering God has shown me that he is enough. That I need only to be still and not panic. I can leave my children with him and not be anxious. I can love my husband with the understanding that the love I’ve shown him is nothing compared to the love Jesus has shown me.

Going God’s way is the way of life; It’s the way of joy and the way of ultimate fellowship.

Today I am thankful. Without heartache I wouldn’t have understood any of this. 

Luke 11:28

 “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it.”

Today I feel blessed. 

The last chapter 

A year on and God’s kindness in our family is evident. God has enabled me to forgive and step over that line. As I look back, I no longer see that marker in the distance. It’s disappeared from sight and I pray that I will have no inkling to go back to it. 

I firmly believe that if we are determined to submit, that God will enable us to go his way. So for all the loose ends that remain, I hand them over to God with empty hands. The only thing I am able to do is look into the face of my father expecting him to give me what I need. I can’t repay him for his grace to me. I can only look to him in utter dependence and give him my love. He has my heart and my devotion. 

This blog has been a love story. My husband comes into that story, but he’s not the main character. It’s all about my ultimate husband who I love with every fibre of my being. Through this devastating tsunami he has shown me just how much he loves me. His tenacious grace and his amazing blueprint for our lives has truly blown me away. 

So it’s  the end of this chapter. There may be new chapters to come, but it can’t be about devastation and shame and hurt and failure anymore. Jesus has covered it all and we are revelling in that amazing grace. We were given the death penalty and then handed  eternal life with riches that  we can’t begin to count.

If God lays it on my heart then it will be a privilege to tell you how he is restoring and sustaining us in the months ahead. I fully expect to experience that healing and restoration because God does all things well.  I know that God loves the contrite. If we continue to look to him in humility he will lift us up in due time. 

Thank you lord! 

Love like Jesus 

John 13:34-35 

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

So November has arrived. In a few days  it will be a whole  year since the devastating tsunami struck our family. We have experienced so much sorrow and heartache.  It’s been a long journey for my husband. The saddest journey of his life. How blinded and duped he has been by satan’s lies. For so many years that journey has brought him sadness and grief that he could never share and as he looked on and saw his family, his heart was broken. God has been so kind to us in bringing him to this point. He is forgiven and loved  and precious to God. 

Jesus leads the way, showing us how to respond. He always shows such kindness. When we are shown kindness  from others, we are positively impacted,  how much more does God’s kindness change and impact us.

    I know what God wants me to do. He wants me to  remember his grace and  forgiveness and He asks me to do the same. This is the beginning of a new life. I have an understanding of hurt and sorrow and grief and bereavement. I know and understand betrayal. I have experienced great sorrow, but God says: react like Jesus. Love until it hurts, until you can love no more. Forgive and forgive and forgive. Never bring the past up, but live with your husband in such a way that it’s like this devastation has never happened.

    So this is what I intend to do. To love better than before, and when it hurts me to love, I will look at Jesus. I will remember his kindness to those who drove the nails into his hands and feet. I will remember his concern for the thief  hanging next to him. I will remember that Jesus didn’t think of himself,  but showed kindness to others. As he hung there in agony he was thinking of us, taking our sin and shame, making it possible to be reconciled with our Heavenly Father. Such love under pressure. 

    This journey has been a strange privilege. God has shown me my flaws, my sins, my unkind responses and challenged me to the core. I have resented and fought. Submission to his word has been a hard convoluted journey which has brought life. 

    It is possible to love our spouses when they have hurt and betrayed us. It is possible if we are really understanding God’s love for us. I pray that as we respond to unkindness in many forms, that self is taken off the throne and Christ put firmly on it. 

    1 Peter 4:8

    Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.