2 John 1:6
“And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love.”
Time has passed and it’s now two years since I was confronted with the devastation that has changed me forever.
Two years is quite a marker, and as I write this blog today, I can testify to God’s grace. I thank God that he has preserved us as a family, and I pray that his grace will continue to break through the hurt and damage that remains. I long for complete healing for us all, and I pray that God uses this hurt to sanctify us and make us more like Jesus. As we continue to work things through, my deep longing is that Jesus would be exalted in our lives as we respond with love to one other.
As I’ve come to understand God’s word more, I know that I desperately need God if I’m to respond in a way that pleases him. As I’ve thrown myself on his mercy he has changed my attitudes and desires to such an extent that my feelings have completely turned around.
Our wisdom often feels right but it is flawed and skewed on every level. It’s not till we come to Jesus and ask for his wisdom that we see how flawed we really are, and it’s a shock as we begin to understand how insidious sin is. We believe our reactions to being hurt are right and fair, and in the eyes of the world they are – but as we view our responses in the light of Christ we are found wanting. The nearer we come to Christ, the more our hearts and attitudes shift towards him and our broken hearts begin to mend.
It’s been two years full of difficulty and challenge, but God has been with us at every stage, and healing has come with obedience. As we now step into the third year, I need God as desperately as I did in those first few weeks. As our reactions continue to show us the temperature of our hearts, I pray for ongoing love and kindness that can only come from him.
As we step into the third year of recovery, my husband’s ongoing repentance is evident. His sorrow, his tears, his love for Christ and his humility. As I look upon him, my heart is moved by his pain and his ongoing struggle. I pray that through his tears and sighs he continues to know God’s love and care for him as he begins to mend. I thank God for his gentleness and his consistent kindness which he has shown day after day and week after week. His repentance is evident and beautiful to see and my heart is overflowing with thankfulness.
I no longer care what the world thinks of us, only God. And God counts my husband as precious. How I’ve prayed for him over the years in his despair. How I tried to understand him, but felt I was living with a stranger. Now I can freely know him and love him, and my prayers over many years have been answered. I have a husband who is walking in the light and loving God first and best. I am blessed and as this third year begins we will continue to heal because God’s plans are never thwarted.
Love will continue to be the measure of our hearts, and the closer to Jesus we become, the more our hearts will respond with God in view.
Love is the key for our recovery.
If we love God, we must love one another, no matter what our circumstances, no matter what our feelings scream at us. As we continue to act out love and look to Christ, our feelings will follow suit. It’s never the other way around, otherwise we get into great difficulty.
His wisdom is so much higher and beautiful than the world’s wisdom, but at first sight so much more difficult to follow.
He will continue help us and give us his desires, The big question is : are we willing? If we are, it’s only by his ongoing relentless grace.