Marriage as God intends it to be.

Lamentations 3:22-23
Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

There is no doubt about it, God has grown me through this experience. As I heal and begin to thrive I am aware that my life is richer now than it was before. God’s kindness is stunning and sometimes I can’t believe how God has changed my perspectives and my heart. I feel grounded and content having worked through many issues that had the potential to hold me back. Shame, anger and hurt have been replaced by an increasing love and delight in all that God is doing in my husband and his changed heart is evident for all to see.
By God’s grace we will continue to love with humble hearts and be enriched through the experiences we have been through.

Marriage is a covenant; a wholehearted promise before God to love our spouse till death separates. Loving like Jesus isn’t based on feelings but on a solid unwavering promise to do the other good no matter what our feelings may be telling us.
Sometimes reconciliation is not possible as a partner continues in a groove of sin or decides to leave, but my situation has been smothered by God’s kindness and grace, and I know how fortunate I am…. A contrite repentant heart has been the key for my marriage to thrive, and I am so thankful for God’s amazing kindness to me in this. My husband could have left me. He could have made light of his sin and shifted the blame onto many things but he didn’t. His attitude has given me hope as I see a glorious future with a man I am determined to love.
This is what John Piper says about marriage :

Dear married Christian: “God’s purpose is to refine and deepen your faith and your holiness through the disappointing parts of your spouse’s personality.”

And this statement is right. We cannot be refined if life is easy, we can’t understand the depths of sin in our hearts unless we are faced with unwanted pressure that wounds our souls. And when our souls are wounded by grief and disappointment, and our dreams for this life lie in tatters, that’s when God does his finest work by revealing to us our true hearts before him.

John Piper goes on to say this:

“Staying married, therefore, is not about staying in love. It is about keeping covenant. “Till death do us part,” or, “As long as we both shall live” is sacred covenant promise — the same kind Jesus made with his bride when he died for her. Therefore, what makes divorce and remarriage so horrific in God’s eyes is not merely that it involves covenant breaking to the spouse, but that it involves misrepresenting Christ and his covenant. Christ will never leave his wife. Ever. There may be times of painful distance and tragic backsliding on our part. But Christ keeps his covenant forever. Marriage is a display of that! That is the most ultimate thing we can say about it.”

I have experienced first hand that love is a determination to keep a promise, and as I hung on by a thread I really doubted if my heart would catch up with my will…. But get this: God understands our determination to adopt his wisdom and as we step out in obedience, God enables those feelings to flow once more.

My situation has been enriching and life changing. It’s taught me so much about my own heart and God’s absolute determination to love at whatever cost. I have been humbled, awestruck, challenged and stretched to the limit, yet its been the richest journey as I’ve come to know God in a richer, fuller way.

This is where I leave this blog…. Full of hope and joy; full of excitement and hope for my marriage as we love God together. By staying put and not leaving, God has helped me to understand his love for us. He never divorces us, always forgives and never puts his feelings first…. If that were so there would be no hope for any of us.
We must continue to do the same.

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