Category Archives: Finding contentment

Since my last blog I am feeling in a better place. God is teaching me that it’s ok when everything is stripped back and laid bare. Submitting to his will, however impossible it seems,  is the only way for true contentment in him. I am slowly grasping this and asking God that I won’t fight against it any more.

Before I opened my eyes this morning I was praying a hymn by a lady called Frances Havergal. I pray that I will be able to make the words of this hymn my own with God’s grace;

1. Take my life and let it be

Consecrated, Lord, to Thee.

Take my moments and my days,

Let them flow in endless praise.

2. Take my hands and let them move

At the impulse of Thy love.

Take my feet and let them be

Swift and beautiful for Thee.

3. Take my voice and let me sing,

Always, only for my King.

 Take my lips and let them be

Filled with messages from Thee.

4. Take my silver and my gold,

Not a mite would I withhold.

Take my intellect and use

Every pow’r as Thou shalt choose.

5. Take my will and make it Thine,

It shall be no longer mine.

Take my heart, it is Thine own,

It shall be Thy royal throne.

6. Take my love, my Lord, I pour

At Thy feet its treasure store.

Take myself and I will be

Ever, only, all for Thee.

When darkness veils His lovely face,

I rest on His unchanging grace;

In every high and stormy gale

My anchor holds within the veil.

On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;

All other ground is sinking sand.

Submitting to God is the only way, and I pray that as we walk with Christ at the centre of our lives we will bring him glory. Then we will be at our happiest and most fulfilled. 

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I met with my best friends yesterday. I have been unwilling to let go of resentment. As a result I have suffered spiritually. The wonderful thing about close Christian friends is that they can admonish with love. I needed that yesterday, and as they quietly challenged me about something unwise, I felt convicted. We meet in a coffee shop and then go and pray in the car. This is our pattern. As we walked to the car we were reflecting on psalm 23. Our shepherd King makes us lie down in green pastures and even uses his rod to enable us to do it. For me, this picture is so wonderful. God disciplines us. We see hurt and cruelty in it, and yet if we saw it from God’s perspective he is driving us from brown parched land, to lush green pastures, where the quiet waters are.


So as we got in the car, we all prayed that we would love those we don’t want to love, and that they would be made to lie down in green pastures. Since this prayer, my whole mindset has changed. Joy has returned to my soul. God is leading us beside the still waters and yet  for God to do it, it often causes us pain because just like stupid sheep, we don’t understand what’s good for us. 

We have such an amazing Saviour. Such a great God. The discipline we receive enables us to lie down in green pastures. I pray that when God disciplines us in the future we will have the green pastures in view, and thank God for the discipline and not rebel against it. 

Trust is hard. In order to trust we have to let go.

We feel  vulnerable letting go and we stand exposed.

If we knew the end results before we let go, it would mean that we could hang on to perceived control and the process would be made easier for us. We do it blind; in the dark ; not knowing the outcome.

Trusting and letting go has been one of the hardest lessons I have learned. 

When we really trust it means fretting, anxiety and worry are binned – otherwise we aren’t trusting. 

When we trust it means that circumstances in our lives, however impossible are handed over to God, and we trust him to work it out without us frantically trying to help him, because we think our wisdom is valid.

Trusting and letting go has been an excruciating journey that has really tested me and shaken me up.

I have never blogged about my children. Each one is unique and precious. I was like a lioness with my Cubs when they received the devastating news. I can’t verbalise how pained I was for them. I can’t express my anger and horror and sorrow I felt for them all. If I could have absorbed all their pain for them I would have. I wanted to absorb all their brokenness and make them better. This was my job.

For me, trusting and letting go in this situation was a NO GO. I was not willing to just hand them over to God and say:

 ‘ Lord, you are in control, I hand each one of my children over to you, and I know that even in this, you are working everything for their good. Help me to know that whatever the outcome looks like, they belong to you, and you have the right to work out this situation in whatever way pleases you.’

So I fretted and obsessed and worried. Each child in a different location and each child overwhelmed with hurt. I lay awake at night, obsessed in the day. I tried to fix things, I tried to make things right, I tried with all my might, but I would not hand them over. They were mine and too precious for me not to worry over. 

This led to an accusing spirit in me. My husband should have protected, he was a role model, he should have loved them. He should have practiced what he preached, literally.

I have now  come to the end of myself and have now prayed that prayer that I was so unwilling to pray.  I have been humbled and God has opened my eyes to the fact that they are his children before they are mine. He is the wise parent, not me. My children are experiencing pain and hurt and everything I didn’t want them to experience, but God is using that wonderfully in each of them for his glory.

I have handed control over to the ultimate parent. The only parent who truly loves, wholly understands and uses each situation to hone us. He will shape each of my children to be more like himself through this. Of this I have no doubt, as I am seeing it already. May God be praised. 


Philippians 4:11-13

“I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

My life has plateaued, and the adrenalin that was frantically pumping in every direction has finally halted. Being in a constant state of high alert is finally over, and I am faced with my new life which I didn’t choose. I have struggled to find contentment with my life as it is now.

Rick Warren says:

“Contentment means my happiness is not dependent upon circumstances. Most people get caught in “when” thinking — “When I get such and such, then I’ll be happy.” ”

This morning, driving to work I  prayed for contentment. I also acknowledged that I didn’t want to pray this prayer, and I needed God to work In my life to enable me to mean the words that I was saying.  This took energy  and effort  because I was asking God to make me content with something I was discontent with.  Its hard to ask God for true contentment if  we don’t feel proactive about changing our attitudes.

Paul says in Philippians 4:11 that  He had to learn to be content. It wasn’t something that came to him naturally.  I’m sure he didn’t want to be in dire need or in prison or shipwrecked or hungry. Yet paul experienced all these things and through it, learned contentment.

I know my heart is rebellious and I know how wrong I am. I am struggling and grappling and trying to work through finding contentment in this situation I am now in. The key is loving God more and wanting every situation we find ourselves in, good  or bad to please God.

This is my prayer for today:

Lord,
I am discontent about many things in my life.  There is an unwillingness to accept the here and now. I am discontent over all I have lost. Forgive me for my rebellious heart that is so slow and reluctant to ask for contentment with the life I now have.

To know contemtement in every situation pleases you. You know best, and whatever happens in our lives, help me to trust you and understand that you are working out everything for my ultimate good. Help me to know that contentment can only come from you. It has  to be learned and applied as we look to you for help.Thank you for your willingness to forgive again and again. Thank you for Jesus who gladly gave up everything, and yet was content to submit to your will. Help me to do the same.

Amen.