Every blog I have written so far I’ve asked my husband to read. I wouldn’t want to publish anything unless he sees it first, and he’s been kind and supportive about me expressing myself in this way. He has encouraged me, even when it’s hurtful and upsetting for him to read.
I have observed that living with guilt is an awful thing. It produces nothing good. It manifested itself in ways that were unkind and hurtful. I felt that the friend I once understood, I understood no longer.
But God is kind, and orchestrated many things to enable him to step back into the light. God was gracious in putting key people in place to love and support him as he confessed all.
Confessing is hard because we are in Satan’s territory. Satan blatantly shouts his lies about the consequences of revealing all, and my husband believed those lies and he became despairing. Satan’s desire is destruction and separation from God. He wants Christian marriages to be broken and damaged and delights in disharmony and conflict. Because God is kind, He always makes a way through for the Christian on the wrong path.
Whatever the consequences that we face because of sin, stepping into the light is always the best way. Whether it’s saying sorry to someone we have been unkind to, or facing and dealing with situations that heavily impact others -the only way for peace, and restored relationship with God is to get out of Satan’s kingdom by confessing all and coming to the cross.We cannot experience God’s love and joy with a known barrier that we are unwilling to deal with. The consequences may seem overwhelming, but to be outside God’s kingdom and care is even worse.
I really believe that when we are willing to lose all, in order to do the right thing before God, he is gracious and kind. The worst fear for my husband was that he would lose me. In fact, God has given me a huge heart for him. It’s all grace when we are willing to confess all.
For me, Inconsistency is now replaced with consistency. That consistency is filled with kindness and gentleness. I thank God for the change I now see, for relationships that are mending and healing, and for satan’s lies that although believed, were indeed just lies.